I’ve been hiding from you.

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There’s a huge part of my image that I have been stereotyped as my entire life, which I have been able to live with up until I reached adulthood and have become a creative for a living. Always seen as the “good girl” sweetheart from Utah. This is not inaccurate. I am careful with my life choices, have a heart of gold and an innocence about me. However, there’s an edge and spark inside of me that I’ve been hiding from the world & it’s killing me creatively”

To become truly creative you have to be true to yourself, your emotions and overcome the fear of applying this not only to your work but sharing it with the world. This is what I study and this is what I preach. However, you must practice what you preach. I have been hiding my raw thoughts within my creative outlets. It sets my soul on fire when I can help others be creative and see them flourish into the true creative they are so what is stopping me from doing the same thing?

I’ve tried to be a perfectionist my entire life and it’s simply not fucking working anymore. This is not me asking for your acceptance because I have accepted who I am. I am not changing but blossoming into the person and creator that I truely am. I still have a passion for seeking wondrous life & spreading positivity. I have high hopes and aspirations that I can still inspire in travel, creativity and lifestyle all while leaving the sugar coating to the side.

I have a great amount of writings hidden away in my draft box & I’m ready to dust them off.

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Wildflowers and Mountain Air

This post about Eastern Idaho is going to be short and sweet because I really can’t come up with all the wonderful words that can explain my time there.

There’s something particularly wonderful about waking up in the morning to sunlight and having fresh coffee along with the mountain air. During my time in Tetonia we spent many mornings on the patio with a breakfast full of fresh sautéed greens and coffee. We sat next to the river stream with a bag of cherries and good conversations. We meditated and ran nude in the wildflowers.

During my time in Tetonia, Idaho my mind was set free a little more and reminded me to breathe a little deeper, stop to smell the flowers, and that I definitely need trips up to the mountains more often.

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Moments in black & white

Currently, I am on a month long trip between Eastern Idaho & Western Oregon.

During this trip I have not only been able to experience beautiful places but most importantly connect with friends that inspire me. I often find myself in a rut of guilt when I’m not always updating others on social media, keeping up with Instagram posts and a camera around my neck while traveling. Although I have had my camera with me most of the time and taking photographs, I do not take near as many as I used to in the past and especially while traveling. I have been trying my hardest to take in moments rather than capture them all. Feed my soul with memories and experiences that don’t necessarily need to be recorded onto a memory card and stored into my hard drive. I have been inspired with not only what’s been around me but the connections and conversations I have had with friends who inspire me with new light and ideas.

I have seen waterfalls and rainbows that have been unphotographed because I simply want to take it in for myself, selfishly, without sharing it with others.

I got to a point in my life where I was shooting much less because I was honestly getting bored of what I was photographing & needed a new boost of inspiration. I started to get sad and anxious about it not because I thought I was losing my passion but because others were noticing and questioning my passion for photography. However, stepping back from the camera has helped me tremendously. Now that I have spent sometime traveling without my camera always around my neck I have found some new light and have built some new concepts which I’m excited to experiment with.

Black and white images have stepped into my life recently with a newer meaning than they have before. I used to focus on black and white just as a artistic element to my photographs. Today I have found that black and white really enhances the moments rather than the colors. We always look at how beautiful the colors are in art and images but take little time to appreciate the light, texture and details of objects. Here are a few black and white details of my trip.

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Photograph taken of me by my friend Jayde Silbernagel for our personal photography project of running wild, free and nude along the wildflowers in Tetonia, Idaho.
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Owls at Tracy Aviary in Salt Lake City, Utah
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I ate this wildflower in Tetonia.

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At the top of our mountain hike watching the storm quickly approaching us.

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Holga Digital

When we were in Vegas last week we made our way into Urban Outfitters and I walked out with a little pink Holga digital. I didn’t even know this was a thing and you can just imagine just how excited I was about it!

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If you are not familiar with what Holga is, it is a toy plastic camera that shoots 120 or 35mm film. My holgas are all 120mm film and I have been obsessed with them for years. Holgas are known for really great distortions, light leaks, and interesting colors. The object of Holga is to “just shoot” and to not think too much about the rules and principles in photography.  It creates very artistic and unique photographs and a great creative outlet. I am located in a place now where I cannot get my film developed and have been going through some serious Holga withdraws. When I saw this Holga Digital I purchased it without any questions.

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I have had the chance to take it out shooting a few times and here’s what I learned from shooting with this cute little camera.

  • The Holga Digital is supposed to give you the “surprise” experience just like film would, so when you take photos you cannot see them on your camera until you put the SD card into your computer.
  • There are a few options with the holga digital that you can use to mix and match. You can either set the format to 35mm or 120mm and also between black and white or color. I personally like the 35mm setting because it gives you a vignette.
  • I would highly suggest taking photos with this in sunlight. If you try to take photos in darker light there will be a lot of camera shake.

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What are my thoughts about the Holga Digital? It is definitely not the same as film and probably a product you might not totally enjoy if you are very familiar with the film formats and overall quality. I was a little disappointed at the lack of unique color and light leaks. The quality of the images is quite low as well, nothing you can end up blowing up into a large print in the end. I would highly suggest this to anyone who wants to step into the Lomography and Holga community though! It’s user friendly and will help you get into the concept of Holga. Its a small and lightweight camera that you can take anywhere. It will also help save a lot of money on film and film processing!

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Stay Sunny!

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Mexican food-hopping with Dad.

There’s something that my Step-Dad and I have a lot in common and that’s our love of food! He’s also a really great cook and has taught me a lot about cooking since him and my Mom have been together. Since I leave in a few days he decided to take me out for a daddy daughter day date to go shopping and out to eat but let’s be honest, our day was planned around what we were going to eat and where. I love eating out in Mexico because it’s a little bit here…a little bit there! We first hit up the dulceria where we spent a hand full of time looking at different Mexican candy and getting bags full for me to take home. I got 2 bags full for only $10! I think a “Mexican candy haul” blog will soon be on the way! There’s this cute little orange taco truck that I’ve been eyeballing for awhile and we decided to give it a go! They were actually taquitos though and not tacos which was cool because it was something new to try. The taquitos are definitely not what you find in the frozen section of your local grocery story. They double up the tortillas and grill them with red chili sauce. This made them very messy but extremely delicious! Halfway through our shopping we stopped at a little quiet place that sold tortas which are basically sandwiches, but obviously better because it’s Mexico. We ordered one pork and one steak and although the steak was good I think pork was a winner for us! Afterward we stopped at our favorite ice cream shop because what’s a day out without ice cream involved? I had my favorite cookies y crema. As you can imagine, my stomach was very full by the end of the day but it was incredibly worth it! A solid day for the books!

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Stay Sunny!

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Life as of late.

Sometimes there are some things in my life that I would like to share with you all but that I wouldn’t necessarily share with you in a single post. So here is a post about life lately and my latest gossip.

One) I took a new self portrait for the new year. Hazah!

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Two) We took a run out to the desert on some Baja buggies to an interesting little hut this man owns and sells beer from in the middle of the desert. He also has some beautiful dogs and there was also a dead cow at our destination which was a really great photo opportunity. My camera needs a major cleaning now with all of the dirt and dust.

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Three) Speaking of dead things…a friend and I went out looking for bones on the beach and there was an interesting dead fish. Why are dead things interesting to photograph? Is it normal to have this fascination?

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Four) No, still no boyfriend.

Five) I downloaded some new Lightroom presets and have been totally geeking out about. You can find these free presents from NickCam and Sleeklens. It’s always fun to try some new editing styles and techniques.

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Six) I had a cavity which caused a quarter of my tooth to crack and break off. I went to the dentist and it only cost me $40 to fill…yes friends, $40 to fill a massive hole in my tooth. Did I mention it was totally painless? No, no drugs needed either.

Seven) I have officially started my Master’s degree online. OPA!

Eight) We are running out of gasoline in Mexico. Seriously….they are increasing gas prices but not increasing the pay of the truckers. So, the truckers are protesting by not bringing gasoline and other goods across the border. Time to whip out the bikes!

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