Life is beautiful and now I’m engaged to the love of my life.

Within the past year my mind was wrapped up in being a single and independent woman running wild and free and building a life on my own. I had lost trust and hope that there would be someone for me to build a life with. January 20, 2018 I met the love of my life and it turned my life around in the most positive and beautiful way I could ever imagine.

The last time I wrote on the blog, I felt incomplete and lost in life. I was feeling sorry for myself one evening and downloaded Tinder as a good source of entertainment.

Swipe left. Swipe left. Everyone sucks. Swipe left.

…..OH…..Hi….hello….you’re…wow wow wow….Swipe right.

I cannot tell you how giddy I was the moment we matched. I knew right away I had to steal his heart and by that I told him I make some bomb chocolate chip cookies.

We went on our first date which started with desserts and ended with poetry and two months later we are engaged to be married this fall!

Everything in between our first date and the night he proposed is what I had dreamt of my entire life. Strong communication, kindness, never ending laughter and the pure comfort of being my true self. I’ll never forget the time Matthew told me “I don’t just have a girlfriend. I have a partner” The connection we have is what I pray everyone else can experience in their life. I was always told “When you know, you know” and nothing is more true than the love that Matthew and I share.

Matthew makes my heart completely melt and because of him I want to be a better person everyday.

We are incredibly blessed. Blessed to have found each other and for all of the love and support of our big decision to spend and build a life together.

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Xoxo,

Future Mrs. Green.

 

 

The New Year is exhausting.

I’m usually an optimist on any given holiday. I enjoy anything that includes extra glitter, food and celebrations. However, The New Year is exhausting in many different ways.

The exhaustion of a New Year doesn’t just come from staying up past midnight which is always a struggle for me. It’s also mentally exhausting. During New Years we are always focused on how we can be a super human this year and how much we sucked last year. Focusing more on our past and future rather than being in the present moment, one of the most important things I learned from 2017.

A new beginning is so forced by society during a new year. How are you going to change your lifestyle? How are you going to change your body? How are you going to change your relationships? I’ve had my fair share of new beginnings and I’m telling you this, it’s much more rewarding to let these changes come naturally rather than forced. We grow at our own time and not by January 1st, two thousand whatever.

I used to be obsessed with New Year’s Resolutions and sharing my goals for the upcoming year with the world. I even created a vision board art piece last year but lost it a month after posting about it. Do we actually set these resolutions to make ourselves a better person or to just prove to the world that we too have goals?

I hope you wake up everyday thankful for the lessons you learned from the previous day and how you can better yourself and goals daily.

With all of this being said, I did have a fantastic New Years which ended with a New Year’s kiss and pancakes for breakfast.

Stay Sunny!

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stop feeling guilty for doing something for you.

I wasn’t feeling it yesterday. I wasn’t feeling it the day before either. Sometimes I’m just not feeling things and I always feel like shit about it. I should be an awesome person today and I’m not, what’s wrong with me?

Last night I had some alone time and decided to take advantage of it. Although I promised myself this quiet and relaxing time I still felt guilty. I felt lazy because I wasn’t doing something productive. I could have been writing a new blog, working on my paper due next Sunday, starting a new project… absolutely anything would be better than what I was doing.

When I started to really feel guilty I took out my laptop and started to write a post for my blog that didn’t even matter to me just for the sake of getting something up on the blog. How silly is that? I then shut my laptop and made a goal. I got really enthusiastic about this goal.  “I’m going to binge-watch the entire season of my show tonight and nothing is going to stop me!” I whipped up some Mexican hot chocolate, grabbed a cookie, snuggled in my bed and pressed play. I was finished with my series by 10pm and went to sleep.

This morning I woke up feeling enthusiastic to write to you and tell you that I think you should make it a goal within the next week to binge-watch your favorite show on Netflix with hot chocolate so you can wake up the next day and be a badass.

Stay Merry and Bright!

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Focus on love

“BREAKING NEWS. More than 50 killed in Las Vegas Attack. Over 400 injured in deadliest shooting in the U.S. History” was the first thing I saw walking down the stairs this morning.

Las Vegas is so close to home. The shooter was even closer to home.
My mind was racing of all my friends and loved ones who love country music and music festivals. All of us who are always going to Las Vegas for time of enjoyment. Who could have been there? Who was close? Are my Vegas friends home safely?

I understand we are all angry. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my own opinions about it all.

However, set aside your political views for now as we have seen the deadliest shooting in U.S History, a great amount of evil and hate. There’s families and loved ones of the victims who are in a deep amount of pain right now. There’s a great amount of innocent people who are in physical and mental pain right now.

We do not need to radiate more hate and anger. We need to focus our energies on love today toward the victims, their loved ones and Las Vegas.

Hold your loved ones close.

Twenty-five and feelin’ alive

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& here we are….alive at 25!

I have been looking forward to 25 for as long as I can remember and I don’t have a reason as to why. I always knew great and big things would happen at 25, so I’m feeling pretty good today. 

I have been seriously blessed this past year and have gone through so much personal growth! I explored more places in one year than I thought possible. Mexico, Palm Springs, San Fransisco, Seattle, Western Wyoming, Eastern to Western Idaho, and Western to Eastern Oregon! I also started working toward my Master’s degree in Creativity Studies and have a new direction of my future career goals. 24 treated me so well that I’m looking forward to seeing where 25 leads me.

Birthday reflections are so important to me. We always have goals, but do we ever take time to think and reflect about who we are as a person, what we have achieved so far and how we have grown? Here are some things that have made me grow since my last birthday reflection.

Self-acceptance 

This is by far the greatest thing that has happened to me. Wow, it feels so good and something I never hope to lose. I strive everyday to be a better person and have become okay with my imperfections. Hating yourself and your body is the most damage you can do to your mind and soul.

Being alone is totally cool

People often feel bad when I do things alone. To be honest, I love to do things alone. Traveling, day trips, going to movies, reading in the park. Sometimes I just love to have a day to myself to do what I want and on my own time. You learn so much about yourself when you are alone! I encourage everyone to take themselves out on a date!

Accepting my alcohol anxiety

Secret is out, I used to have terrible anxiety around alcohol. This year I officially found acceptance to my problem and have tried to overcome it. I have become much more calm around alcohol and actually drink a little myself on the rare occasion. Although you won’t see me taking shots for along time, I would love to join you for coffee and baileys anytime!

Your mind is just as important as your body

Go and learn something new, read a book, take a walk. Your mind muscles should be just as strong as your biceps. Between school, reading more books and taking time for my mind through peace and meditation my mind is more observant.

Feeling healthy is so important

I have never felt healthier than this year. I have found a great balance in my diet, take daily vitamins, drink plenty of water, practice yoga and meditation and also get some sleep! The idea of “Working hard and sleeping when you die” is extremely overrated. Self care is crucial, friends!

Broken hearts have nothing on me 

This year I have fallen in love and out of love. I was in a relationship and broke it off, simply because I know my worth. I have ZERO patience, time and energy to be treated with disrespect. Being single is much better than being in the wrong relationship. I no longer accept changing myself or my body just for someone else’s desires. This is why it’s important to fully be yourself before you get serious with someone else. I would love to find my soulmate and be married in the near future. However, I do not settle and I’m okay with waiting.

 

Keeping an open mind to changes

My life is always changing! Even though somethings don’t happen how they are supposed to, I know there is always something new around the corner. It keeps life so interesting and exciting. Sometimes things just do not work out, big deal. Just go with the flow and let life lead the way.

 

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Thanks to my good friend, Indigo for snapping some fun photos for me!

Stay Sunny!

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So now what?

After every big trip I get the question “So now what?” which is actually a question I ask myself everyday at least 3 times a day. So, I thought I would do a simple post as to what is going on in my life now and my current plans.

As you may not know, I was supposed to be moving to Grand Junction, Colorado. After my month long trip in July the plan was to come right home, pack up and leave for Colorado. Well, life had other plans and nothing worked out how it was supposed to. Although I feel as though I had failed I remember one of my favorite quotes…”God will wreck your plans if he sees your plans will wreck you”

Currently, my home will remain in Southern Utah and I will be traveling as much as I can, while I can. Also, focusing full-time on school until I graduate in April. Outside of school and traveling I am spending time on my creative work and building my future business. I am also still involved with the Art Museum by being a docent for school groups which I love so much.

In October I will be working at my family’s farm called Moon Farm in Fruita, Colorado! I will be there during their busy pumpkin patch season! It will be a new experience and I am definitely looking forward to it. It also works perfectly because I will get an extended time in Western Colorado without permanently moving there.

I am very blessed that I have this beautiful opportunity in life to spend exploring, learning and growing.

Stay sunny!

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I’m pretty cool but I cry a lot

I often get asked how I’m so happy and positive all the time and I have a little secret I’d like to share with you, I cry a lot. My crying doesn’t always come from being sad either. I’m not secretly a sad person. I cry when I’m angry, lost, embarrassed and overwhelmed. Crying keeps me calm and might be a good reason why nobody sees me angry.

This morning, I had heavy feelings in my mind and chest and just wanted to cry but kept it in and I was starting to get in a bad mood. When I’m in a bad mood I cannot focus on anything. I couldn’t even tell you why I was upset. Finally, I cried and I cried for a few solid minutes. After I was finished crying I made the realization that my chest no longer felt heavy and my thoughts were collected again.  I actually thought “Wait…that’s it?” I then proceeded to clean my face and move on with my day.

“Stay strong…don’t cry” these words are not meant to be in the same sentence. Just because you cry doesn’t mean you’re weak. You’re strong for understanding your feelings and actually being comfortable for showing emotions. When you confront your feelings you can have more peace to move on with your day.

If you’re having a bad day, just cry, confront those emotions and move on. We have far too much shit to do to be weighted down by bad emotions.

Crying feels damn good.

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I’ve been hiding from you.

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There’s a huge part of my image that I have been stereotyped as my entire life, which I have been able to live with up until I reached adulthood and have become a creative for a living. Always seen as the “good girl” sweetheart from Utah. This is not inaccurate. I am careful with my life choices, have a heart of gold and an innocence about me. However, there’s an edge and spark inside of me that I’ve been hiding from the world & it’s killing me creatively”

To become truly creative you have to be true to yourself, your emotions and overcome the fear of applying this not only to your work but sharing it with the world. This is what I study and this is what I preach. However, you must practice what you preach. I have been hiding my raw thoughts within my creative outlets. It sets my soul on fire when I can help others be creative and see them flourish into the true creative they are so what is stopping me from doing the same thing?

I’ve tried to be a perfectionist my entire life and it’s simply not fucking working anymore. This is not me asking for your acceptance because I have accepted who I am. I am not changing but blossoming into the person and creator that I truely am. I still have a passion for seeking wondrous life & spreading positivity. I have high hopes and aspirations that I can still inspire in travel, creativity and lifestyle all while leaving the sugar coating to the side.

I have a great amount of writings hidden away in my draft box & I’m ready to dust them off.

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Walk with fear

During my travels I have been listening to many audiobooks. You may have heard of the award winning Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Gilbert also has an incredible book, Big Magic, which is all about creativity and creative living. There is a part of her book which I found most inspiriting, the difference between being fearless and being courageous.

When I tell others about my driving and traveling around they always seem in a bit of a shock that I am driving around by myself to all of these places which always leads them to ask “That doesn’t scare you?” and when I tell them that enjoy traveling by myself they follow up with the famous “Wow, you are fearless!”

Here’s the real truth behind all of this…I’m not the type of person to just wait for someone to hop in the car with me. I don’t believe I should wait for great opportunities just because I don’t have a friend or significant other to join me in the passenger seat of my car. I leave at sunrise and if you’re not there, you’re not going. This has nothing to do with being fearless but more so of being selfish with a great amount of wanderlust and motivation.

That being said, I have many fears when it comes to traveling. I understand all of the possibilities of what could happen while traveling. I watch the news, I read articles, I know and understand all of the terror. I have had my scary calls and have shed a few tears. I am not fearless.

I had the crazy opportunity at Tumalo Falls, a few miles from Bend, Oregon. My good friend Dustin is always talking me into crazy adventures. With the motivation of Dustin I did something I would have never dared to do. I jumped the wall at the top of Tumalo Falls to get as close as possible to the edge and take photos of the water rushing and crashing down, 90 feet below. This was not me being fearless, I was still scared shitless, I was allowing fear to walk by my side.

You do not need to be fearless to be courageous. When you are courageous you are allowing fear to walk by your side. Do not be fearless, when you are fearless you simply have no emotions. Creative and courageous individuals thrive on emotions. Be courageous and gladly walk hand in hand with fear itself. Let fear motivate you to see more, do more, and be the best you can be.

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