Right now, I weigh the most on the scale that I have weighed in my life.
My 5′ 3″ body is currently 165. My “normal” is 150 and my thinnest? 129. Right now, I also believe I’m the healthiest I have been in a long time and it’s taken me until recently to recognize that.
I used to struggle with terrible anxiety and would constantly feel sick, nauseas and tired and it’s until recently that my anxiety has been getting much better then it was in the past and I can feel it throughout my entire body. When I weighed 129 I had an ulcer which part of the cause of my rapid weight loss during college. I lost 31 pounds. Everyone kept saying “Wow, you look so good!” which is what we associate with when people lose weight regardless of the fact that I looked sick, tired and stressed to my bones.
Recently I’ve been eating very well. I can’t even eat greasy foods anymore without getting sick and I don’t consume sweets nearly as much as I used to. I have also been hitting the gym regularly and keeping up with my yoga practice.
I keep stepping on the scale though and wondering “HOW?” & end up getting incredibly frustrated and upset. One day I finally texted my good friend who is fitness instructor and told him about my frustration and he himself said that I’m gaining muscle, the scale is full of lies and to be patient with myself and my body.
The other evening I went into the gym and told myself to run 3 miles because that was the last goal I accomplished. I hit 3 miles and told myself “Okay you’re going to do 4 miles now” which was quite the stretch because I’ve never ran that much in my life and once I got to 4 miles I somehow got a burst of energy and ended up reaching 5 miles! I was honestly shocked and so happy I started to cry. I literally got emotional over this. All of the frustration on the scale didn’t even matter anymore because I was thrilled that I could push my body that far and completely blessed that my body feels strong and healthy!
The singer P!NK actually posted on her Instagram about the same problem who is 5’3″ and 160lbs. She stated that according “regular standards” that is obese. I AM OBESE. I stand with P!NK, “dammit I don’t feel obese. The only thing I’m feeling is myself” (P!NK)
Here are the important questions to ask yourself….Am I nourishing my body with the foods it needs? Is my body getting enough exercise and fresh air? Is my mind sharp? Do I feel healthy and confident?
Bodies are so different and your 140 could be different from someone else’s 140. Your body could be a size 10 but someone who weighs the same as you could be a size 7.
We shouldn’t experience happiness by the number it tells us on the scale but by how our bodies and spirits feel!
You are beautiful, you are strong and you are so much more than a number.